


Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay

by charmingoutlaws (twdsunshine)



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 01:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15061856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/charmingoutlaws
Summary: When Tig breaks down after killing the caged torture porn producer, the reader finds him at the dock.





	Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay

_‘I left my home in Georgia  
Headed for the Frisco Bay  
‘Cause I’ve had nothing to live for  
And look like nothing’s gonna come my way  
_ _So, I’m just gonna sit on the dock of the bay.’_

You watched from a distance as the shattered figure buried his head in his hands, his shoulders slumped and dejected.  You could tell he was crying, and you were glad you’d followed your instincts now.  You’d insisted on coming down here to help Tig do an inventory of the equipment left behind in the Persian torture porn palace, arguing that you knew better than he did what might be of use to the club, having worked at Caracara as Luann’s assistant from time to time before Clay had offered you some steady hours at Teller-Morrow.  Jax had reluctantly agreed, and you’d sped all the way here.  The club seemed to believe that Tig was fine, coping, but you knew different.  How in the hell could he be?  He’d watched his daughter burn to death right in front of him, and he was hanging on by a thread.

For a horrifying moment you thought he was going to jump, to throw himself in to the water and let himself sink like a stone, following the cage that you’d watched him manhandle down to the edge of the dock and tip over the edge.  You’d seen the man inside, knew what was happening, but it wasn’t your place to step in.  That wasn’t why you were here.

‘Hey Tigger.’  He looked up at the sound of your voice, his hands dropping to his knees, not bothering to scrub away the evidence of his tears from his cheeks.  ‘You doing okay?’

He nodded, then shook his head, before finally shrugging his shoulders, his mouth dropping open as if to speak, though no words came out.

‘I told Jax I’d come down and help you look over the equipment at the warehouse,’ you explained, lowering yourself down beside him and curling your legs up, resting against his side and letting your head drop on to his shoulder.  ‘Figured you could use the company.’

For a moment he was still, and then his arm snaked around your waist and you felt him bury his face in your hair as he began to shake again, his body racked with sobs.  This wasn’t like Tig.  The Tig you’d known when you’d first gotten caught up with the MC was so full of life – he had the loudest laugh, the harshest bite, and if you crossed him you could be damn sure you wouldn’t see another sunrise.  But now…  He was a shell of a man, constantly exhausted by maintaining the mask he put on every single morning, and your heart broke for him.  You let him hold you for a while longer, knowing this was what he needed, someone to lean on, before you reached up to rub his back, his trembling finally stilling at your touch.

‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered, pulling away so he could rub his eyes with the heels of his hands, leaving them red and bloodshot.

‘Don’t be,’ you reassured him, shifting yourself upright so you could turn to face him, crossing your legs as you leant forward to smooth his wild curls away from his forehead, letting your fingers trail down his cheek as you studied him.  ‘You look like you haven’t slept in weeks.’

‘I can’t,’ he admitted.  ‘I close my eyes and I just…  All I can see is my Dawny.  I have to sit up all night with the TV on full volume so I can’t… so I can’t hear her screaming.’

 ‘Bet the neighbours love you,’ you teased with a gentle smile, relieved when he returned it, though it was shortlived as his face fell again.  ‘I’m so sorry, Tig.’

He nodded, his hand reaching for yours and squeezing it tight, his calloused fingers rough against your skin.  ‘Did you see…  How long have you been here?’

‘Long enough.  I saw the guy in the cage, if that’s what you’re asking.’

‘Shit.’  His eyes were pleading when they met your own.  ‘I was supposed to just let him go.’

‘He was one of the torture porn guys that hurt Lyla?’

‘Yeah, but-‘

‘Then he deserved what he got.’  You’d seen her at Diosa, battered and bruised and crying for Opie.  She was a sweet girl, kind and thoughtful, and anyone who wanted to hurt her deserved their comeuppance in your opinion.

‘Jax told me to let him go.  I was supposed to…  But he started saying stuff, shit about my daughter crying for her Daddy, and I just…’

He didn’t need to say any more.  You held him this time, pushing yourself onto your knees so you could wrap your arms around him and cradle him to your chest, his hair tickling your nose when you bent to press a soft kiss to the top of his head.  His arms around your waist were bruising, but you didn’t loosen his grip, just squeezing him tighter.  When was the last time he was held, you wondered?  By someone who truly cared, not just some crow eater looking for a good time…  

‘Your daughter loved you, Tiggy,’ you murmured, feeling him tense at your words.  ‘And she knew how much you loved her.  It wasn’t your fault.’

‘But I-‘

‘You didn’t know what Pope would do, sweetheart.  You couldn’t have known.’

He pulled back from you, gazing up into your eyes, his own deep pools of misery.  ‘Why are you so good to me?’

‘Someone’s gotta look out for you.’  You settled back down again, mirroring Tig’s own position now and letting your legs hang over the side of the dock, kicking them restlessly against the wooden beam.  ‘You’ve gotta let someone in, Tig.  The guys, me, Gemma…  You can’t keep all this bottled up.’

‘If the guys know what a mess I am, they’ll think I’m a risk to the club.’

‘No, they won’t.  They know what the MC means to you.  But maybe taking some time out wouldn’t be such a bad idea.’

He was shaking his head already, but you’d predicted that reaction.  ‘Nah, can’t do it.  They need me right now, Y/N.  Shit’s all up in the air.  I can’t let them down.’

‘They’d understand.’

‘No.’  His tone was firm, but he reached for your hand again, letting you know that he appreciated what you were trying to say.  ‘Why do you care so much anyway?’

You shrugged.  ‘I just don’t like to see you hurting.’

‘You see everything, don’t you?  Stuff the others don’t.’

‘I’m not caught up in all the MC politics.  It’s easier on the outside.’

‘You’re not on the outside,’ he chided you.  ‘You’re one of us, baby.’

You smiled, but his words rang hollow inside of you.  You never really knew where you were in the club family.  You weren’t a crow eater, you weren’t an old lady…  You just kind of hovered around the edges, watching, listening, worrying.  You knew Jax trusted you, confided in you, and you had a good relationship with most of the guys, but you were always on the periphery.

Sensing your hesitation, Tig wrapped his arm around you again, pulling you back into his side.  ‘You are.  I see how you look out for us, we all do.  We love you, Y/N.’

‘I love you, Tig.’  You’d meant it to sound platonic and lighthearted, but the weight that your words carried was unmistakable and your heart skipped a beat as piercing blue eyes locked on yours, questioning, confused.

‘You do?’

You could feel the butterflies in your stomach fluttering nervously as you nodded, unable to tear your gaze away, watching as a kaleidoscope of emotions crossed his face.  ‘I’m sorry.  I know, it’s not the time, and it’s not why I’m here.  I just… I care about you, that’s all.  I want to help.’

His grip on your hand tightened as he pulled it into his lap, scraping his nails over your palm as he stared down at the water that rolled endlessly against the dock, ebbing and flowing.  ‘I didn’t know.’

‘I know.’

‘You never said.’

‘There was never a good moment.’

‘And now is?’  It could have sounded challenging, accusatory, but he looked so lost that it just came out as desperate.

‘No.  I just… I just wanted you to know that there’s someone here for you, that’s all.  I don’t expect anything from you, I just…  It slipped out.  I’m sorry.’

He fell silent, the sound of faraway voices in the warehouses drifting over on the breeze, and you cursed yourself internally, marvelling at your stupidity for letting the truth spill out this way.  You’d been in to Tig for as long as you could remember.  You’d found yourself drawn to him since you’d first gotten yourself tangled up with the MC, attracted to his easy grin and bright blue eyes, and then somewhere along the line you’d found yourself falling deeper, until you were completely under his spell.  And apparently, he’d had no idea.

‘You know, if you’d told me this before, I’d have already had you up against the wall in that warehouse.’  

You couldn’t breathe as his eyes roamed over your body, lingering over your curves, and you swallowed hard, trying to find your voice, though you had no clue what to say to that.

‘But now, I mean, I’m a mess, Y/N.  I’m literally falling to pieces here, and I have nothing to offer you.’

‘I don’t need…’  You stopped, chewing on your lip as you considered what it was you wanted to say.  ‘I’m not asking you for anything, Tig.  I don’t want to be your old lady.  I don’t want money or commitment or your dick, believe it or not.’  That was mostly true, though you still couldn’t get the image of him hitching you up and pinning you against the wall out of your head.  ‘I’m just telling you how I feel.  I love you.  I care about you.  And I know… I know what you’ve been through, what you’re going through, how much you’re hurting.  But you’re not alone.  That’s all this is.’

‘You don’t wanna be my old lady?’  He was watching you intently, reading your expressions, your tone, and you realised you’d offended him a little with the statement.  

‘You don’t really strike me as the old lady type,’ you smirked, nudging him with your elbow.  ‘And that’s fine, really.’

‘I’m not as young as I used to be.’  He was deep in thought, the fingers of his free hand drumming a steady rhythm against the wooden boards.  ‘Might be kinda nice to settle down, have a good woman to go home to every night.  Gives you some perspective, you know, when you see…  When you lose someone, your family.  Makes you realise what’s important.’  He glanced over at you, his gaze intense.  ‘You’re important to me, you know that, right?’

You nodded, following his lead when he climbed to his feet and pulled you into a warm embrace, the corners of his patches rough against your face as he held you to him.  You could feel his breath on your neck, and when you looked up at him, his mouth was millimetres from yours, his eyes curious.  When you didn’t pull away, his lips brushed against yours so lightly that you thought you might have imagined it at first, but then it happened again and again, and you reached up so you could lock your arms around his neck and hold him in place so you could kiss him properly.  It was sweet and chaste and nothing at all like you’d imagined kissing Tig would be, and you knew then that he did care about you, that this wasn’t just about you being convenient, or him needing a release.

‘The timing-’  He started, but you silenced him by placing a finger to his lips, knowing what he was going to say.  

‘I know.’

‘I just need-‘

‘I know.  I’ll wait.  As long as you need, whatever you need to do.  I’ll wait for you.’


End file.
